Quotes To Live By

Sometimes e-mail provides serendipity. This occasion is no different.

In this case I received the latest DNRC (Dogbert's New Ruling Class) newsletter. One of the gems of the somewhat irregular newsletter is called “Induhvidual Quotes”, something that is always enlightening.

Here are some more true quotes from people who put the DUH in In-duh-vidual, as reported by DNRC field operatives.

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"Well that really throws a wrench in the ointment."

"I think there's something wrong with my alarm clock; it keeps making this really loud noise in the morning!"

When talking to a colleague about my newborn twins, she asked what genders they were. “A boy and a girl,” I answered. My colleague’s next question: “Are they identical?”

"That's water over the bridge."

"You're dead meat in the water."

"That stands out like a diamond in a goat's butt!"

"You shouldn't violate the law because that's illegal."

"They have us by the balls of our feet."

"Never pet a burning dog."

"It's hotter than a French hen."

"They should lock him up and throw away the book."

"They cooked themselves. Now they have to lay in it."

“Make sure you cross your p's and q's.”

"Don't look a blind horse in the eye."

"I put my wrong foot in the wrong mouth at the wrong time!"

"Cows died to give us that cheese."

"Don't slap the hand that milks you."

"Call me back at your least convenience."

"It's six of one and one of the other."

"I can't do it in the spur of a hat."

"That's going to change the whole ball of works."

"They're not the brightest box of cookies."

"The pro's for are more than the pro's against"

“I wouldn't touch him as far as I could throw him.”

And so it goes.....