Ballantine Ale, Ernest Hemingway, And Broken Green Glass

In response to this post by Bird Dog about Ballantine Ale, Ernest Hemingway, and BD's use of the 40 ounce glass empties for target practice, he received this missive from the EPA:

Dear sir or madam:

Consider this a summons to

EPA Office of Compliance
Fines and Sentencing Annex @ Building 2R
10023846 Federal Way Boule Vard
Washingtorn, DC

The issue is your admitted production of (1) Glass, green, broken.

This material, production or possession of, is illegal under the Safe Trash Dump Act, often referred to as the What About The Children Law.

The fine assessed is $500,000 ("Five Hundred Thousand Dollars"), negotiable in the event of pre-existing penury to cash-value property in kind or in the event, whatever you got on you.

Based on the probability of a possible claim to a variance based on a claim on the religious grounds variance claim, please be aware that any special pleading claim within the Special Pleadings Claims section of the EPA Regulatory Publication 889-C3P0, we warn you ahead of time that any claim of Party Membership must be verified by signed and stamped memorandum of your address Block Party Chairman or agent thereof.

Additionally, EPA counsel is been to date unable to find text in the Code reference specific alluding on this so-called "Earnest Heming Way" so to that end please accompany your person with all pertinant documentation and stuff.

Thank You,

Milo Minderbinder, Assistant Deputy Vice Counsel

Command III of The Dep't of Enforcement
Environmental Protection Agency
Washingtorn, DC

Oh, Lord, I needed that!