Some of the other videos have been amusing, particularly those put together by the folks at Black Rifle Coffee Company (this one is my favorite). I’ve come across some videos of people “from away” trying to pronounce the names of towns in Maine, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire and failing miserably. Other videos have been made by folks in foreign countries talking about their experiences in the US have also been eye-opening and in many cases, funny as heck.
One particular topic that kept popping up in the Recommendations were videos referencing something called MGTOW, or Men Going Their Own Way. So, being the curious type, I decided to view some of them.
If even 10% of the videos on that topic I saw accurately relate the experiences of the men making them, there are a lot of angry and hurt men out there. On the other side, there are an equally large number of women posting videos asking “Where are all the good men?” and “Why don’t men want to commit?” and other related questions. That tells me there are also a lot of angry and hurt women out there too.
Which side is ‘right’? In this case, does it matter?
A lot of men are feeling put upon with Third Wave Feminists constantly demonizing men, marginalizing them, denigrating them, blaming them for all women’s ills. They’re shown in TV shows and movies as either being totally incompetent and idiotic dads - more clueless than their children – or malevolent, evil, and violent. There is no in-between. Laws were changed that put more of an onus on men, particularly in regard to family law. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) enhanced penalties for acts of violence against women, primarily for acts of violence committed by men against women. Women could commit acts of violence against men, yet not receive the same sentences for the same acts. The enhanced penalties only went one way. But men are victims of domestic violence in numbers roughly equal to that of women. (The FBI tracks those numbers and while reported incidents of domestic violence against men was about 35% of all such incidents, they estimate the number is closer to 50% because a large percentage of domestic violence assaults against men are not reported.) #MeToo added even more scrutiny to men’s actions, creating an atmosphere where an accusation of misconduct by a man towards a woman could end a career and destroy a life, all with no proof required. The backlash took the form of men following the so-called Mike Pence Rule which roughly stated says “men should never put themselves in a situation where they can be falsely accused of rape, sexual assault, or fraternization.”
Proving innocence is often difficult or impossible, so the easiest way to avoid false accusations is to avoid women altogether.This led to men not mentoring up and coming women in the business world, protecting themselves from even the appearance of impropriety. They wouldn’t allow closed door meetings, or would meet with women only if a third party was also present. Some saw this as an overreaction, but it is a reasonable reaction to the witch-hunt atmosphere that exists.
Men increasingly see themselves as being marginalized in society, and worse, in their own families. Is it any wonder the suicide rate for men has skyrocketed?
Women are also on the losing side of this.
One of the biggest disservices ever perpetrated on young women is being told that they “can have it all”, meaning career, spouse, and family. What they weren’t told is that while they could certainly have the first, but the chances of them also having the second and third would shrink, particularly if they waited until they had established their careers and were financially secure. This usually means they are in their 30’s before they get serious about a family. The problem is that by then it may be too late.
It has nothing to do with discrimination or sexism, but more with biology, human nature, and mathematics. They have to face the fact that they are competing with younger women who want families and are in the peak years of their fertility. These younger women like the idea that older men (in their 30’s) who are financially secure want to be with them, marry them, and have children with them. Women in the 30’s (and even 40’s) are having a tough time competing against their younger rivals. There simply aren’t enough men to go around. Or should I say there aren’t enough men of the type they feel they deserve, those men having more money than them and are either 9’s or 10’s. The problem is that of all of the available men, those ‘unicorns’ are maybe 5-10% of the total. The second problem is that 80% of the available women are all after the same 5-10% of the available men. The math doesn’t work.
Then there’s the MGTOW factor working against them – a lot of men are no longer interested in dating seriously, if at all, or in settling down again. They’ve been burned one too many times and are reluctant to put themselves out there again. Instead they are focusing on their careers, their finances, their homes, their hobbies, and other interests. Even some of the 9’s and 10’s women are looking are MGTOW because they too were burned one too many times.
What’s the answer to these problems? For one thing, I think both men and women need to dial back their expectations, need to look at life as it is and not what they’ve been told life should be. They may have to reorder their priorities because right now their priorities and their expectations are not realistic. They need to stop listening to people who do not have their best interests at heart, but are pushing their own agendas that have done more harm than good.