Flatlander News - Living Dangerously

After a lengthy hiatus our resident flatlander, Brendan Smith is back! It seems fitting that his first appearance in a while should be this one.


My Year Of Living Dangerously

To the sixteen of you who read this column on a regular basis, last week must have been a bit confusing...and I apologize.

Wait, I don't really... I have to stop doing that so much.

That's what this is all about actually.

You see, I've been in a bit of a rut lately. The same old, same old – over and over again.

I decided when 2007 rolled around that I was going to do things different, take some more chances, live on the edge, so to speak. Put some excitement and danger into my life.

Last week was the usual rotation for my column; I have missed a one or two in the past and meekly went about waiting till the next two weeks rolled around until I wrote another one.

This time, with my new attitude, I've decided to break the mold, go against the current, butter my bread on the inside and go out of my usual rotation and write a column this week.

And let me tell you it feels good. It's rather invigorating and I can feel my blood pumping as I shed my boring old skin for some fun and excitement.

Can you feel it too?

I thought so.

But writing my column out of rotation isn't the only chance I've taken since the start of 2007. There's a whole slew of things that I've done.

For instance:

Just last week I ate a bowl of brown rice without even letting it sit for five minutes first and this morning I did a rolling stop through a stop sign (yes, I know it's illegal, but the thrill of breaking the law and getting away with it was strangely exciting).

One day last month I breathed in second hand smoke and ate some trans-fat...and am here to tell the tale.

Last week I threw all caution to the wind and drove 20 mils per hour in a 15MPH zone, window down, the wind racing over my body. I have yet to muster the courage to 30 in a 25 but I know I'll get there eventually. Baby steps.

One big moment that I am very proud of happened just yesterday when I decided to add fabric softener BEFORE the light came on. I admit I was a bit nervous, not sure what havoc this would create with my wardrobe, but if you've never tried it let me be the first to tell you that it really made no difference. It made me realize that everything in this world we perceive as truth should always be questioned and never taken at face value. I think the next time I might forgo the static cling sheets in the dryer, a bold move I know, but without trying I might never understand the vast universe.

One thing I have been contemplating, but can only now attempt, is drinking milk the day after the expiration date. I would have tried this earlier but the remainder of the half-gallon of milk that is sitting in my refrigerator only reaches its expiration date tomorrow, so I will have to wait a couple of days till I can attempt this next dangerous, yet energizing, experiment in this new attitude on life I've developed.

One thing I did that may come back to haunt me was in signing up as a member of a book club on the Internet. This wasn't the first such thing I've ever joined on the information super highway, but this time, instead of spending the usual two to three hours reading the membership agreement, I just went ahead, sweat on my brow, and clicked the “I Accept” button without reading word one. I will admit I am still waiting for the fallout from this but I have, for the most part, put these concerns in the back of my mind, for now.

Speaking of the Internet, I've also decided to be a bit more adventurous in my financial undertakings. Just this morning I entered into a deal with Mr. Bakum Obraca from Nigeria, who has been emailing me for months hoping I would be able to help him transfer some of his funds to my bank in the States in which I would be able to keep tens of thousands of dollars for myself. I'm not sure why he picked me, I just figured that everything happened for a reason, so I took full advantage of it. Not like the old, boring me. I've given him my bank account numbers and am anxiously awaiting my new fortune.

Life is good.

So, as each new day approaches, I look forward to expanding the horizons of my life and taking more chances.

As for my eighteen readers, I hope you'll accept my humble apologies while realizing at the same time that the man you are used to reading has changed. I can't tell what each day will bring. I'll be as surprised as you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to light a match without first closing the cover.

Brendan Smith welcomes your comments at brendan@weirs.com


Reprinted with permission of the author

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