It may not be relevant, but it is funny. At least it is to me.
I might have asked for a diet Dr. Pepper.....
A Progressive, a radical Muslim, and a Libertarian disturb an old oil lamp and a magnificent genie appears. The genie, thankful for his release, addresses the trio, "Thank you. To show my gratitude, I shall grant each of you a wish.”
The Progressive pushes himself to the front and says, "I would like all of my progressive brothers and sisters to be whisked away from this barbaric county and placed into a beautiful Utopia where the government will cause everyone to live correct and happy lives!"
The genie exclaims, “Shazzam, Socialist Utopia!” and the Progressive disappears.
This excites the radical Muslim who then quickly blurts out his wish. "I would like all my brothers that believe in the one and true God to be whisked away from this barbaric country to a beautiful oasis where Allah and Sharia law will cause everyone to live correct and happy lives!”
The genie exclaims, “Shazzam, Sharia!” and the radical Muslim disappears.
The Libertarian smiles but makes no request.
The genie, having people to see and places to go, queries the Libertarian, "So, what wish may I grant you?"
"You really granted their wishes – all of the Progressives and radical Muslims are gone?" asks the Libertarian.
"Yes." replies the genie.
"Wow," says the Libertarian, "Then I'll just have a Coke."